Courage Expert Claims Fear Is Cause of Communication & Relationship Breakdown
Courage coach, Margie Warrell claims that conflict in relationships - whether at home or in the office - can be attributed to the fact that people are terrified of confrontation, uneasy with 'awkward silence' and unwilling to risk vulnerability.

/Virginia News Articles/ - MCLEAN, VA - June 02, 2007 - Warrell believes that the quality of people's relationships is directly proportionate to the quality of hte conversations that occur in those relationships. She claims that the reason so many people find themselves embroiled in conflict with others is because they do not know how to engage in effective conversations to address whatever the issue is that is causing concern to one or both parties. In the end people choose the certainty of not having issues be resolved than risk the possibility of an awkward conversation.
"Issues that don't get talked out get acted out", she says. "They get acted out in snide remarks, innuendos, passive aggression (or better known as "the silence treatment"), higher absenteeism, lower productivity and higher employee turnover. At the far end of the spectrum they get acted out with someone literally packing up their bags and walking out the door of their marriage or their job".
"No matter what the issue", says Warrell, "the only way it will ever be resolved is through conversation. Or more to the point, through 'Courageous Conversations'." Only by putting whatever the issue of concern is - whether it be a wife's concern that her husband isn't spending enough time with her or her children or a managers concern that an employee isn't focusing enough on the job at hand - can the issue itself stand a chance of being resolved to the mutual satisfaction of al parties involved.
Warrell says that trust is a cornerstone to having effective conversations. If someone has acted in ways that have undermined trust - through words or actions or lack thereof - then the first thing that needs to be done is to rebuid the trust.
Most people think that having a conversation about something they feel unhappy or resentful about is bound to end in conflict. "This is not necessarily the case at all" says Warrell. "Actually it all comes down to how you language your concern. Its not about making the other person wrong (and you right) nor about winning the argument. Rather its about just sharing how you feel about the situation".
For instance, she recently was working with a client who felt that their boss was not giving them the trust they deserved. Her client was resentful about the situation and, as Warrell says, "expending a lot of energy in complaint mode".
Warrell helped her client realize that the only way she'd get resolution would be to have a conversation with her boss about the situation. "There's a big big difference between telling someone they are untrusting and sharing, very authentically and without any righteousness or blame, that you feel like you aren't trusted".
As Warrell says, in every long term relationship there issues are inevitably going to arise that have the potential to cause conflict. The problem isn't that there are issues. The problem arises when we don't address those issues openly and respectfully.
Warrell says courage is often the missing ingredient. "After all, courage isn't about feeling confident and comfortable having a conversation. Courage is about having the conversation despite the rock in the pit of your stomach! Finding the guts to speak up first takes acknowledging the heavy price that is paid for playing safe, staying quiet and letting fear and self doubt rule the roost in our relationships and lives".
It's for this reason Warrell has dedicated an entire chapter in her most recent book "Find Your Courage! 12 Everyday Acts of Courage to Unleash Your Full Potential and Live the Life You Really Want " (www.findyourcourage.com) to engaging in what she calls 'Courageous Conversations. Her intention was to empower and equip people with the perspectives and skills they needed to engage in life's more "difficult conversations".
Speaking up may never be easy to do. But the price we pay - in the quality of our relationships, in our physical wellbeing, in professional success and personal peace of mind - far far exceeds the temporary discomfort we may experience from doing so."
Warrell challenges her clients, readers and those who attend her seminars to identify an issue they feel resentful about and then ask themselves "What conversation could I be having to resolve this that I am not having?"
"We all have the ability to speak up about any issue. Life's too short to waste festering about issues that could be resolved through the simple act of a conversation. Whilst no conversation is guaranteed to change your life (your relationships or career), any single conversation has the power to do so!"
"Conversations have the power to completely alter the course of our lives and the quality of our relationships" says Warrell in Find Your Courage! It seems an awful shame to think that we spend days, weeks and years of our lives not happy about thigns that a simple authentic conversation could resolve in 5 minutes.
Indeed it does.

Press Release Contact Information:

Margie Warrell
Margie Warrell International LLC
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PO Box 8102
McLean, VA
United States 22106
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